Sweet, so would I,
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow
I think I can go on record as saying this has been one of the more difficult years I can remember having. And more specifically, it is one of the more difficult months I can remember having. A few years ago I experienced what I considered the worst month of my life. I had to say good bye to one of my favorite aunts, a long time friend in the church, and my father’s best friend had a near fatal accident at work. All of this right around Christmas. It was supposed to be the 1st Christmas I spent at home with my parents in a decade. It was really hard on me and the kids. But, this year has trumped the sorrow I have felt that year.
For those following this blog for some time know about my own loss. It has easily been one of the more difficult things I have had to deal with. I know that people have miscarriages all the time, but that doesn’t lessen the blow this had on me personally. At the same time I learned that one of my best friends was having complications in her own pregnancy. The doctors weren’t even certain that her little girl would survive birth. God surprised them all. She was beautiful in every way. And every time I saw her picture I was reminded of the wonderful grace and love of God. Over the last two weeks I have needed that reminder of God’s grace and love. My aunt passed away. Her funeral was this past Monday which is why you never saw a post from me last week. A young man here in town tragically passed away. His funeral was Friday. On Saturday morning, I learned that my friend’s daughter went home. Her struggles in this world are over. And on Sunday morning, a family in our congregation lost a beloved sister (and aunt).
I know and I get that death is a part of our world. I know that I cannot blame God for what man brought into this world when he sinned (Rom. 5:12). I know that God loves us more than I could possible know (John 3:16). And I know that God understands the pains of having a child die. But, often times I look at weeks like this and think why? Why does this have to happen? We things get this bad I start to feel like I am coming apart at the seams. Why does saying goodbye have to be so hard?